Love Yourself This Valentine's Day

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Valentine’s Day is pretty crazy. There are sales, heart-themed promotions, red-accented knickknacks, and an overwhelming dose of “love”. Even if you’re in a relationship, Valentine’s Day gets old almost as soon as it begins. Which is why I want to give you an alternate angle from which to view this “day of love”.

Now, I could sit here and tell you the different ways you can make this Valentine’s Day special for you and yours, but that’s old hat. Instead, I want to tell you how you can make this Valentine’s Day special for you by focusing on you.


The best advice I can give anyone: don’t worry about what others think about you. If you’re doing what you want to do, and not harming anyone, what everyone else thinks is irrelevant.

“But Arye, if I stop worrying about what other people think of me, I’ll alienate all my friends and be left alone!” No. If you do what you want, you may alienate and lose some “friends”, sure, but you’ll eventually find yourself surrounded by like-minded people who will become your real friends. It can be anything: sports, art, music, making cheese, walking around and talking about civic engineering, whatever it is that you like to do, do it and the people will come.


Regardless of what commercials, and stores, and pop culture tell you, there is only one person on Earth who can fundamentally affect your happiness. Any guesses as to who that person is? (Hint: it’s you) No one can, or should, have as profound an impact on your overall mood than yourself. That includes your family, or your best friends, or even your significant other.

Of course, there are times when fights with loved ones will bum you out, and that’s normal, but that’s not what I’m talking about. What I’m talking about is needing someone else in order to be happy. Trying to fill a void with someone else will only make that void bigger. It’s like trying to use a screw as a nail – sure, a screw looks like it could do the job, but when you get down to it, it’s just not what you hoped it would be.

I remember a couple years ago I came across a quote that sums this up perfectly, “If you’re not happy with yourself when you’re single, you wont be happy in a relationship. You have to create your own life before you can share it with someone else.”


Having people to share time with is amazing, but inevitably there will be times when you’re alone. Maybe it’s because you just moved to a new place, or your friends are out of town, or you just went through a break-up. Regardless of the reason, in these situations it’s important that you enjoy spending time in your own company.

No more saying to yourself, “I need more friends”, or “I just need a boyfriend or girlfriend”, or “why am I alone?” Take stock of the life you’re living and if it doesn’t match what you want your life to be, change it. You’re the only person who can. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and make your life the one you’ll be happy living.

Take the time to get to know YOU, and learn to love YOU. No matter what anyone else says, you’re beautiful, you’re smart, you’re funny, and you’re a damn good time to be around. But no one will feel those things about you unless you feel them first.

You have someone special to love this Valentine’s Day, and every day, for that matter. You just have to look in the mirror to find them.

Until next time – you’re great.

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When Arye isn't helping optimize your time, he is doing his part to ensure life is full of shenanigans.