Did you know Father’s Day was this weekend? Thanks for telling me! My siblings and I totally forgot and now we’re in a bit of a precarious situation. We’re quickly running out of time to find something for dad and we don’t even know where to begin. I mean, on the one hand, he has damn-near everything he wants, and as they (I don’t know who they are, but they seem important) say, “what do you get the guy who has everything?” On the other hand, what can we possibly come up with that will get there in time for Sunday? I mean, I can make another coffee mug with an eloquently stated opinion of my dad, but writing something like this doesn’t just happen, it takes time, you know?
What we decided was; instead of going the generic route of played-out gifts, we’re going to get our dad/pappy/father/pops/old man something he knows we’ve put some thought into, and you should do the same. Get the man something from the heart. You know, something like this to really show him you care. Ok, I doubt most dads would be super enthused to receive that gift – my dad is a huge weirdo - but follow your gut and whatever you get will be sure to resonate sentimentally with him.
RECALL THE MEMORIES YOU REMEMBER
Think back to the times you’ve shared with your pappy. I’m sure there are some not-so-pleasant times, you know like the time he grounded you for staying out three hours past curfew, but there is a treasure trove of happiness ingrained deep in there. Spend a little time traveling down memory lane, find some stand-out memories, and incorporate them into the gift you give him. Found a picture of y’all hugging at your seventh birthday party? Get that bad boy printed, or print it yourself - or do what all the kids are doing these days and snapchat it - and voila, you’ve got a ticket to the screening of Happy Cry: A Dad Story.
SHOW HIM THAT YOU CARE
You’ve known dad literally your entire life, so long that it’s almost impossible to not know at least one thing he likes (if you’re having trouble, ask Mom, she tends to know a lot about the man). Once you ascertain this very important information, peruse the infinite world of the interwebs and find something “applicable” (you’ll understand the quotation marks in a second). For example, if he likes to ride bikes, and laughs like a child at bathroom jokes, hit him with a pair of these bad boys. No, they are not riding gloves, though I’d love to see them used as such, and they won’t do anything to protect your hands, but you’ll get a good laugh out of it, and really, how can you better show him you care than by buying him underpants for his hands? Hint: you can’t.
BUILD OFF YOUR RELATIONSHIP
You and pop may be super close, or not close at all, but, working under the assumption that you’re going to get him a gift, there is a lot in your history to pull from. Don’t fall into the trap of getting him a tie, or a shaving kit, or another one of the typical gifts we see on the “Gifts to Get Dad this Father’s Day” lists. Don’t get me wrong, it will definitely suffice, but like we did with Mom on Mother’s Day, we should make our dads feel special this day. If everyone is following listicles for gift ideas, all dads are getting gifts from the same pool. It’s high time we stopped depending on others suggestions, and instead started making gift decisions that not only represent the way we feel about the recipient, but that the gift was chosen with love. Whatever you gift dad this weekend, make sure it’s from your heart, not someone else’s.
Until next time – hope you enjoy your handerpants, pappy.