Not Into Football? Here's Your Guide To Avoiding The NFL

Post image

As I’m sure you’ve heard by now, the NFL season has officially started, meaning that until after the Super Bowl, your Sundays are no longer your Sundays. They belong to football, now.

It used to be that this was the best news I could have gotten – “You mean that for the next five months I get to watch football all day every Sunday?!”

[Kermit gif]

It was like a weekly dose of mana from heaven, and it still is for those of you who love watching the NFL. However, for those of us who have either fallen out of love with football, or never gave into the seductive song of the NFL sirens, things are looking rather bleak.

Allow me to present you with the light at the end of the tunnel, my friends. Here is your 2016 NFL Avoidance Guide.

PRODUCE PRODUCTIVE OUTCOMES

Seasons are a-changing and quick. This is the perfect opportunity to do a little tidying up around the house, which you can do by decluttering your wardrobe of the clothes you no longer wear, and donating them, to get your space ready for autumn. After all, you’re going to need all the hanger and drawer space you can get for all the super rad sweaters you’re going to buy this season, right?

You can do this by doing an all-encompassing fall-cleaning of your home, because, you know, it’s never a bad time to clean up the space around you.

Or you can do this by knocking out those items from your to-do list that you’ve been putting off. You know, the laundry, cooking, answering emails, writing, reading, or spending time with other humans (I’ve been told that this is a great activity), which I didn’t know was possible during the NFL season unless you were watching the game with them.

Whatever it is you’ve been wanting to do, NFL Sundays are your perfect chance. Vacate the premises and get sh*t done.

DON’T WATCH GAMES, PLAY GAMES

Watching football and playing football are two very different things, which is why if you’re looking for a good way to eat up time during NFL Sundays, I recommend joining a flag football league. Not only do you achieve the number one goal in avoiding the NFL, but you get to play games, which is always a blast, and you get to meet random humans and make the your new friends! If you ask me, that is the holy trinity of fun right there.

There are competitive leagues, casual leagues, and SUPER casual leagues so there is plenty of fun to be had by all, even if your athletic career ended over a decade ago with your last P.E. class.

Not a big fan of tossing the pigskin around, either? No worries. Just get out there and have some fun. Remember, the days of being able to go outside without a winter coat are numbered. Take advantage while you still can.

WATCH SOMETHING BETTER

Avoiding football doesn’t have to mean avoiding TV altogether, especially if your TV isn’t being commandeered by a rabid football fan. Instead of tuning into FOX and CBS all day, why not turn to some of the TV shows you may have fallen behind on.

I don’t know what your DVR looks like, but if you have a queue in there that is steadily growing, like me, fall Sundays are a great time to chip away at it.

The same can be said for online shows. Netflix has been putting out some of the best content on “TV” recently and the best part is, you can binge these shows and avoid football entirely.

Everyone and their mother has been talking about “Stranger Things” and “Narcos”, and if you’re a little slow when it comes to jumping on these bandwagons, this is your chance. Hunker down, log in, and hit that beautiful play button.

Don’t forget other streaming services like HBO GO and Amazon, either. Both of those services have come out with critically acclaimed shows (“The Night Of” and “Transparent”, respectively) that are absolutely worth a binge.

All caught up on those shows but still need something to watch? Lucky for you the US Open Men’s Tennis Final is on on Sunday at 4pm. It may not allow you to avoid the NFL altogether, but it’ll eat up the afternoon game slot, and that’s a pretty good start.

Until next time – is the season over yet?

Author image

Arye

When Arye isn't helping optimize your time, he is doing his part to ensure life is full of shenanigans.