Finally, You Can Enjoy The Super Bowl Again

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Remember when the Super Bowl was fun to watch? I don’t know when, or how, but the Super Bowl has become less about the game and more about the spectacle around the game. It’s about the National Anthem, and the Halftime Show and the fireworks, and, most importantly, the commercials. In other words, it’s about everything but the game itself. This has made the Super Bowl almost unwatchable and unless your team is playing in the game, that’s a bummer.

“But Arye?” you’ll ask, “What about the commercials? Those are great!”

I hate to break it to you buddy, but those aren’t any good, either. Long gone are the days where the commercials lived up to their billing. Now all we have is something called a puppy monkey baby, an ad about a dead little boy, and Steven Tyler talking to a Skittles portrait of himself.

It’s almost as if we watch the Super Bowl because that’s what we’ve done every year. There’s no rhyme or reason for it (other than it being sold as the biggest TV event of the year), but we do it anyway.

This year, I’m going to give you a reason to watch and enjoy the Super Bowl. Here’s how:

PICK A TEAM TO HATE

You’re in luck this year because the most hated franchise in the NFL, the New England Patriots, is playing…again.

It’s not hard to find things to hate about these cats: their consistent success, their cheating scandals, their smug-as-hell quarterback and coach, or their entitled fan-base are all valid choices. Choose any of the above righteous reasons and revel in every moment of their failure. For a little bonus fun, make sure there is a Patriots fan in your watching party.

CHEER FOR AWKWARDNESS

I know I just told you to hate the Patriots, but if you’re not the type to harbor hatred football isn’t for you cheer for the boys from New England in the hopes that NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has to hand them the trophy. Why is that such a big deal? Let’s just say, those two don’t like each other all that much.

Here’s to hoping, right?

PROP BETS

Probably the most popular way to add a little pizazz to your Super Bowl watching activities is to bet on anything and everything. Obviously you can bet on who’s going to win, how many points are going to be scored, who will score the first touchdown, etc. but you can also bet on if Lady Gaga’s belly button is going to be seen during the halftime show, or if there will be a malfunction with one of the Microsoft Surface tablets on the sideline during the game.

There really isn’t much you can’t bet on, so may as well make it fun by betting on everything.

Here’s a list of 109 of this year’s prop bets (skip to #39 to get right into the shenanigans).

PLAY A DRINKING GAME

Warning: Must be at 21 years or older

The Super Bowl is built around booze. You’re not going to find a Super Bowl party that doesn’t have it, and you’re likely not going to go to a Super Bowl party and not drink it. Well, since you’re going to drink it regardless, you may as well make a game out of it.

You can make a drinking game that focuses on the game broadcast – like taking a drink every time the camera pans to a team owner, or every time a highlight of a previous Super Bowl is shown. Or you can make the game about the commercials – drink every time you see a Bud Light commercial, or drink every time a commercial is met with blank stares and silence.

Create a game around the game, and create an opportunity for you to enjoy yourself. Who cares what teams are playing? Just sit back and have a little fun. Lord knows we need it.

Until next time – PLEASE DRINK RESPONSIBLY!

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Arye

When Arye isn't helping optimize your time, he is doing his part to ensure life is full of shenanigans.